Hey its my first blog and I never really tried writing but I feel a little bad lately so I thought writing it might help
So I am 18 female about to go to univercity in my country we have a big exam like China or Korea its hard and strict and its my second year trying for it so I am feel so bad and studying was never harder and the thing is it makes me feel stupid and I wanna shout 'its not fair' I feel like a waste of space and I dont even have a bestfriend after school ended(its like a gap year but you just study) I dont have anyone to talk and my parents are....weird they had divorce months ago and my life just chanced drastically sunday's was supposed to be a day I was just restin but now I o to my dads house and hang out and cook THAN come home and clean my room and the kitchen since my mom chanced after the divorce I have a littile brother(11) and he really loves me and I always promise to play video games with him but it in a normal sunday I am not available until 7 pm. and I feel so tired and he asks o play and mostly I am just not feeling like it and he is such a sweetheart I try to play but I get bored so we dont play much he cant do anything with my mom too because she was never someone who would even play uno and she chanced drastically lately she started dating again with I am totaly okay about but the thing is she just comes home eats and goes to her room like a teenager leaving cookin and the cleaning to me and I thought she was just so tired but a cuple of days ago she came home quickly ate and get ready and I waslike 'why are you wearing that dress at 11pm?' and she was like I was just trying it off and then she started to cook saying she promised her friends and I was like okay and she stars to look for her rooms keys(we dont even go to her room except emptying the dryer) so I asked why is she looking for it and she said she was jjust doing it for fun at 11pm???? and me and my brother go to bed we have seperate bedrooms and than the huse door opens I thought she took out some trash but my brother got to her room and opened the door to ask about it and they talked just for a minute and like a little after he cmes to my room and says 'there is a man in the house' I thought he just saw wrong but he told me when he got in her room he saaw a man's leg and since the whole evening felt weird I helped him quietly make a floor bed in my room and we just chatted and listened like couple of hours later THEY got out of the room so quietly but there was signs someone was clearly in the house but we didnt said anything and tried to sleep it was so weird beacuse my mom told me about some of the mans she is talking but we never met or anything since they were talkin for max 3 months and I didnt even know about a man she was ths close it didnt felt safe AT ALL like its a grown ass man I dont know about the house I live in and even my brother felt so uncomfortable we couldnt sleep fr days
I know I wented today ut its my feelings for today I hope tomorrow will be better and sorry for any missing letters in the texts and misspellings English is my second language but its the only language I feel free taliking about myself
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